Why fork out a hefty heap of money to build sparkling, grandiose casinos, and follow up the monumental splurge with poignant TV ads warning us against gambling? This is equally paradoxical as frequenting all those gyms religiously without realising that the simplest forms of exercise-i.e. the STAIRCASE is just next to us? (exclude me from the"us" please).

More ironic, taking the lift to the gym.

One more spurt of humour here!
Imagine the following grumbling, utterly predictable and justified.

" Stand in the sun for 30 minutes tan already, see lah, NOT FAIR!"

More humour filling in the gaps between customer service and tuition: (highly original)

1) If you're driven NUTS by the HAZE,does that make you a HAZELNUT?
2) When disaster is COMING, it isn't CALMING.
3) Special thanks to itami namisaki who sent over his coursework for my light reading! Now judging from numerous horrendous encounters with humanities-related subjects, I've got a deduction: that it will result in the deduction of my marks. Simply put, ZSC clicks ESC should you give her CSC. Different outcome for PSC(scholarship!)

GET IT? yay ancronyms!

As encounters with microsoft excel punctuate the passing of the hours at the admin desk, the layman definitions of two technical jargon serve as refreshments for the bored mind.

First, what do you do when the text is overflowing from the unyielding boundaries that are enclosing it? Come to the rescue with the function known as "warp text", where the margins miraculously enlarge, loosen to encompass the text they were ordered to hold and store.

But WARP? Lucky text, instead of getting squished and distorted into unnatural shapes they got extremely understanding borders to suit their needs. But what happens when our minds, ideas and concepts about life are WARPED? Instead of luxuriating in new boundaries redefined just for our wants, we transform ourselves, often in painful and forced ways, in the name of ADAPTATION. See the difference?

And "merge cells.". Wonderful function to have, for why draw unnecessary boundaries which separate what was intended to stay together? Sadly, merging the disparities of society is far more cumbersome than a right-click on a chic little cursor.

Talk about exotic holiday destinations that fill your heart with sheer amazement. Well, here's an amusing riddle for you readers to figure out:

So Sicheng spent one of her post-A Levels-days exploring a fascinating little corner of the world. Okay, to ease the strain on your brain cells, I shall narrow the scope: Just Singapore. In the morning it was a dark, unlit and horribly, swelteringly stuffy. And by 3pm, the place was lit incandescent bright, complete with frigid winds that are bent on transforming the place into a gigantic freezer dedicated for the storage of 10000000 tubs of ice cream.

Guess where Sicheng went. Highlight the following line for the stunning revelation.

Stalford learning centre, yew tee branch. Where centralised airconditioning and lighting work their bizzare magic after 9 am.

Welcome to the batches of my quirky humour , freshly baked in the oven of innovation and boredom.

1) The glossy, sparkling floors of the tuition centres are PRETTY.
The screensaver-like face radiating frustration and boredom after a time lag of more than 30 minutes after the last customer is UGLY.
Forcing sobbing kids into the tuition centres is PRETTY UGLY.

2) Spot the pattern, and happy extrapolating!
enSURE=make sure
enROL=make...ROLL??
I'm sure bakers ENROL all the time!

3) Okay so withdrawals from our centre aren't exactly too glamorous-we aren't good enough. No wonder they're called WITHDRAWAL syndromes. Open displays of misery when the sad sheets of withdrawal forms are filled.

4) So everyone has been proclaiming how they want a world without borders.But wait, without...BORDERS? I'm positive this has been the propaganda of KINOKUNIYA and POPULAR bookstores.

Okay, irrelevant graphic.

I foresee a pot of coagulated dough, kept separate from lumps of meat, should I try making dumplings. oh muahahahaha!

Hang on-before wallowing in despair and unproductivity, why shouldn't I make up for my nonexistent culinary skills with linguistic ones? Yes so keep reading:

LOOK- I can't BROOK the dumplings I COOK and should throw them into the BROOK, by HOOK or by CROOK. When I saw them I SHOOK and decided to read more BOOKS.

Sicheng watched as the flimsy, rusty merry-go-rounds in the kids' play area were replaced by glittering carousels.

Neither holds any enticement for the 18-year-old Sicheng now, who's far more fascinated by puns than undergoing bland circular motion, spinning continually about the same point.

This.....is what you get when you reconnect with what you think was childhood. And Im doing it in french!

J’ai l’impression que je ne te connaitre pas.Et “tu” ne signifie pas une personne, surtout pas un homme. Ne pensez pas autrement. C’est un pays. (vous le savez,n’est-ce pas?)Il ya 12 ans, quand j’étais encore très petite, tu m’as donnée la joie, jamais pertubée, sous la forme de quelque chose qui tourne. Qui a quatre couleurs. Qui a une chanson si douce que je m’em souviens encore maintenant.Le grand moulin à vent. C’est si simple. Ou c’était si simple.Mais il y aura toujours des changements, et ils ne sont pas forcément petits ou insiginifiants. À l’Âge de 18 ans, face à la examination grande, qui, avec une différence de 0.1 point, va te couper de ton avenir brilliant. Ce n’est pas tout. Loin de ça. Combiné avec la pression qui t’attaque au quotidien, tout ne va pas. Les parents qui décide sur les règles incompréhensibles, y compris leurs buts pour toi concernant les examens. Le manque soudain de la liberté.Pas pour moi, mais pour ceux qui continuent à grandir avec le régime du grand moulin à vent, sans quittant la Chine. Et Ils souffrent, définitivement. Comment soulager cet type du chagrin? Comment apaiser une situation presque permanente, qui vous empÊche de sourire? Le grand moulin à vent n’est pas capable. Combien de couleurs va cette type de vie posseder? Moins que quatre, forcément.Tu es plus qu’un grand moulin à vent. Plus qu’une combination des chansons infantiles mais belles. Et je réalise, récemment, plus qu’une vocabulaire vaste des mots clés de la chimie et les mathématiques, en chinois. Non, j’ai une perception fausse. Profondément faussée, probablement.La complicité d’un mélange de deux, ou, maintenant, trois cultures. Je n’appatiens pas à tous les trois options. Triste? Pas exactement, au moins pas clairement. En réalité je suis contente.Tu me manques, j’admets. Le besoin de te reconnaitre est irrépressible. Je dois essayer si je suis capable d'apprendre ce que je n’ai jamais.

As novelty percolates through the hyperactive brain cells of mine, the following string of humour is borne.

1) The photocopying machine always JAMS. It's clearly not a GEM.
2) Was also wondering about inconsistencies in the English language. Look.
pigLET-small pig
bookLET- small book
then toilET is what? SMALL TOY? oooh, never knew that we'll get free TOILETS from buying happy meals then! how very fascinating!
3) Permutation and combination wanted to have pizza. But only one of them can eat. which one? permutation. cuz permutation GOT ORDER.